P&O

Sfx: Car honks.

LOST MOTORIST: Excuse me mate, what’s the best way from Dover to Calais?

HELPFUL LOCAL: Hmm. Best way is via Club Lounge. Look out for the free champagne, then up past the café – lovely drop of Costa coffee in there.

Then there’s a nice little stretch on the deck. Carry on until you come to Langan’s Brasserie. Then after that keep going until you get to the great value shopping. You’ll probably want to fill up there.

Then stop off at the kid’s zone before you get to Calais. Shouldn’t take long, you’ll be there before you know it.

FVO: If you’re going to go, go P&O. Up to 25 crossings a day.
From £25 each way. Visit P&O ferries dot com.

DUTCHMAN:  So my friend, why are they calling it a P&O minicruise? Is it a tiny, small, little boat?

ENGLISHMAN: Not likely. It’s a whopping great ship. Bars, restaurants, live entertainment, shopping…

DUTCHMAN: So it then must be called a minicruise because you don’t get to see much.

ENGLISHMAN: Don’t be silly. You can spend some time looking around Amsterdam, Rotterdam or even Bruges.

DUTCHMAN: Oh I am giving up then. So why is it called a minicruise?

P&O SPOKESWOMAN: It’s a mini £64 per person.

DUTCHMAN: Oh, I see.

P&O SPOKESWOMAN: P&O Ferries. Pack more into your break. Visit P&O Minicruise dot com.
Conditions apply.